Tired

tired2I never thought accepting all those responsibilities will bring me to a point where I’d be on the brink of giving them all up.

I feel like an intern exhausting myself with those works, and following around bosses who don’t pay me at all. I know, I know, I shouldn’t accept too much work when I can’t manage them, but I do know that I can manage them. I just never thought I’d also accept the works who are supposed to be done by a team, or a group.

I’m not blaming anyone. I just want to write today and express how tired I feel. How under-appreciated I quite feel today. It’s holiday, and yet I’m working my butt off to sleep.

tiredI feel like there’s a ribbon around my neck. It’s fragile, yes, but it wouldn’t break until I choke to death. I don’t know. All I can think about today is I want to have a break even for just a day.

I mean, I spent the whole day of Christmas writing the script of El Fili (and I’m really frustrated because I can’t still finish it!). Yesterday, I got a terrible Research Syndrome attack because I neglected our SIP (I feel really lousy and useless). And today, I remembered that economic editorial and year-end report for Social, and the quiz in English, and I just feel like the world is caving in on me.

MY GOD. Really. I can’t help but blame myself because I wasn’t able to manage my time. Yeah, I chose this, but give me this time of the day, even for just thirty minutes, to blame the choices I made for the exhaustion I’m experiencing right now.

No music, no books, no DVDs can resurface me from this sea of disappointments. I remember one time after Christmas, I wanted so much to watch every DVDs I got, but I can’t since there are still piles to do. And I feel that if I don’t do them, I’m being unfair to everybody.

When will I stop owing all the works without complaint? Hayyy. Under-appreciated, but continues still.

Lines from Coldplay's song: Fix You

Lines from Coldplay’s song: Fix You

I’m currently in need of a wall to lean-to.

I feel really really really really tired.

Jashrawr

 

 

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About Jashrawr

Jolog, adorkable, defying gravity ♥
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