There are times when I’m wondering why I don’t like helping people out. Someone will ask me how to do this math stuff, and even though I know how to, I won’t explain it because I think I can never put it into words.
Recently, I had a fight with two of my best friends. I won’t say it’s their fault, but I won’t say it’s mine either. The truth is, we have two wrong sides. Today, I only realized that my fault was being such a huge self-centered bitch.
Ten reasons why:
- I always want them to have their full attention on me when I want them to.
- I easily get jealous of the people they have fun with.
- I want people to reply to me as fast as they can when I text them.
- I often think about myself first before I think about my brothers and my family.
- I can’t accept the fact that I don’t matter to some people.
- I hate it when people don’t pay attention to what I’m saying.
- I mostly do school stuff along (i.e., SIP write up and RPW)
- I get bummed when a guy I like spends too long a time before replying.
- I mostly make sure I get my part before thinking of other people’s part.
- I am selfish.
Being self-centered is a bad thing, of course, and I wish I’d be able to get it out of my system. I’m kind of disappointed with myself when I hurt somebody with my bad character. You know, I emo out all alone and when someone approaches me, I’d shut him/her out. I wish I was an extrovert like Meanne.
The thing is, I grew up solving my problems and my family’s problems alone. I seldom ask for pieces of advice. Sadly, when I did ask, no one will care to reply (i.e., Joatham Orig).
I don’t know what’s right any more. One time, I heard that a person should be able to solve his/her own thing. But, why, when it comes to me, people mistake it for something else. I guess it’s just better to admit it: I am a self-centered bitch.